The Harpo Conservative government is under attack for the safety of the beef products we eat in this country. It’s becoming increasingly obvious that the beef we eat is not properly cleaned of dangerous substances before being sold to families across Canada.
But the Conservatives are not taking it any longer. They’ve come out in anger against the opposition for badgering them over beef safety. They feel the constant complaining is putting a very important industry in jeopardy when a great business opportunity is available.
Yes, the Canadian mortuary industry is being jeopardized by these complaints. The market for deceased Canadians has never been more lucrative for the good folks at our local undertaker business and Canada’s opposition insistence on jeopardizing a great chance to increase business by complaining about the government's disinterest in making our food safe is angering our business-oriented government.
“Leave the beef industry alone,” cry the Conservatives. “We hold stock in the Coli-R-Us Mortuary Conglomerate and we’re making positively tons o cash with Canada’s beef industry left just the way it is!”
Rumour has it that hidden within the huge omnibus legislative bills that the ruling junta likes to force through the Commons is a new law that one person in every Canadian family must eat tainted beef and die in order for the burial business to thrive and grow new markets in Canada.
It's just good for business!
