A STORY SO STUPID IT COULD ONLY COME OUT OF CALGARY; A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE TERM 'THE WEST IS DEMANDING THAT ISIS SHUT DOWN'! OR MAYBE THAT'S THE SPACE STATION?

A jewellery store in Calgary is under fire here in Concentration Camp Canada because the name of the store is ISIS. The store owners are being harassed by questions from various sources, unofficial and otherwise, as to what connection they may have with the Islamic Militant Group that doesn't even fully use that acronym.

The name Isis in the meantime, a Greek mispronounciation of the Egyptian Goddess and Queen of Forever 'Aset', has been around practically since the world began. But ignorant Calgarians, too fucking stupid and drunk to know their own names let alone the name of a powerful and very moody deity, have taken it upon themselves to shut the store down. Because of its name.

After weeks of semi-official harassment the owners are considering it.

Which raises a problem for US President Barack Obama. What if Calgarians go after the International Space Station next? Its acronym is the very similarly spelled ISS! Oh my Gods, it's a conspiracy, Islamic militants have taken over both outer space and jewellery stores. This is a nightmare. We'd better volunteer to give up all our rights and freedoms now that this conspiracy has been uncovered. Thank heavens we have a Calgary Prime Minister on guard for thee (or ye or whoever...)

Meantime, the real fundamentalist Moslem group, the 'Central State of Islamic Saps' has had no comment about Calgary's discovery of their conspiracy. Fortunately for them no one in Calgary or the Prime Minister's office has yet discovered just what 'CSIS' is really up to....

(for our foreign visitors, CSIS stands for Canadian Security Intelligence Service, our CIA. For one thing they're not intelligent, for another who knows what they're really up to??)